The Leopard Boy by Daniel Picouly

Author:Daniel Picouly
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: University of Virginia Press

“Watch your steps now, Gentlemen! You are ruining my straw.”

“All of this was stolen from you?”

Jones taps the notice, which goes on ruining them line after line for many generations to come.

“My memory ’as also stolen some of it from me.”

Ed and Jones move away. They are beginning to worry that the notice might empty their pockets.

“Citizen du Barry, you have just declared that the boy in this portrait is yours. Do you reconfirm that statement?”

“Yes, I confirm it. What else do you wish to know?”

“We just want to know where he is.”

“But I ’aven’t the slightest idea!”

“But you are his mother!”

La du Barry bursts into laughter. A genuine simper-free belly laugh that finally results in almost completely disrobing her.

“I, ze mother of zis child! . . . And w’o did you think was ’is father? ’is Majesty Louis XV?”

Now she explodes into peals of laughter. It rings out over the entire Ideas block, trickles down to the level of the Players, and finally drips onto the heads of the Scarecrows.

“Please, Citizen, this is no joke!”

Suddenly she regains her composure. Her face is almost serious now.

“Gentlemen, when I speak of ’is Majesty, I do not joke. I remember!”

The Countess buries her face in her hands. Her tears bubble up in small affected sobs. Ed and Jones had not expected this. In fact, they had not expected anything whatsoever. Jones extends a hanky large enough to rub down a Percheron draft horse.

“Thank you, but I ’ave my own.”

From her cleavage, La du Barry unfurls a delicate lace handkerchief and an embroidered smile to match.

“Do not be fooled by tears, Gentlemen. Because zen, you would ’ave to believe in women too.”

Suddenly, all Ed and Jones want is to become farmers in Ohio, to believe in the changing of the seasons, in the rising of the grain, in the falling of the rain, in tears, and in women who are truly women.

“Once and for all, Citizen, are you or are you not the mother of this child?”

“Gentlemen! Look at me and then look at this portrait. With w’om would I ’ave been able to procreate such a prodigy?”

“With Zamor!”

La du Barry lets her lace handkerchief drop to her feet. Neither Ed nor Jones moves to pick it up. They lock eyes with La du Barry. Her gaze has become ferocious. How quickly the weather changes on this face!

“Touché, Gentlemen!”

Suddenly, two jailers wearing caps shaped like cock’s combs burst in. Their raptor eyes search the cell.

“Citizen du Barry, you seen the suspect?”

“What suspect?”

“A good-lookin’ recalcitrant in a curly wig. Citizen Devey. She’s supposed to move down to the Scarecrow ward, but she’s hiding.”

“Leave ’er alone! And get out of ’ere!”

“Watch what you say, Citizen!”

“Clear ze decks immediately, or I’ll ’ave you beaten by my lackeys!”

The two roosters take a gander at Ed and Jones. Well now. These two lackeys are mighty big. It makes sense to go and look elsewhere. Ed observes La du Barry as she pats her neck and chest with a damp cloth.

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